Blog Topic 9: Geography of Thought

Last week, we talked about rationality and irrationality. I asked you how you might use "irrational" thinking as a leader and still manage and create change and progress towards goals. This week, we talked about different ways of thinking - that cognitive processes are not universal but may also be affected by culture. So, now leaders not only have to deal with appearing irrational, but also have to deal with ways of thought (mind bugs) that may vary by country, ethnicity, religion, etc. This could easily be overwhelming. But, we've sought to make this manageable by describing the principals that underlie cultures (Hofstede's 5 characteristics), and the principals that underlie rationality.

In this post, think back to a time when you have had interactions where you experienced a "(mis)meeting of the minds." Have you had experiences which, in retrospect, didn't go well because you had different assumptions about causality or use of logic than your interaction partner? What is the geography of your thought and can how does it affect you in your interactions with others? What are the elements of your cultural mindset?

Predictably Irrational

Predictably irrational is such an awesome phrase. When I think about some of the decisions I make in my life, there is absolutely NO explanation why. I have found that explaining my weird decisions is probably a waste of breath. I am led to make jerk decisions about certain things for whatever reason, and defending my irrational ones is often impossible.

Presenting information in a certain way can definitely affect someone's decision. I actually came upon this the other day, but not in a business sense. There is this joke (it's not that funny), that goes like this.

Q: What side are a rhinoceros' horns on?
A: The outside

That joke is only funny if they have right or left in mind. When I told it however, I had just been talking about how cold it is outside and how warm it is inside. The person looked at me like I was stupid and replied "outside." Why would I tell that joke when I gave away the punchline? I have no idea. What's more important is the business/leadership lesson I should learn from it. If I can foreshadow the answer to my question before I ask it, the other person would be more comfortable with accepting it themselves.

First off, I would like to say how much I enjoyed the book. It was really interesting to think about how and why people make decisions. In describing this book to people, more often than not the person I am talking to get this "oooooooooooooooooohh..." look in their eye when I talk about some of the concepts in the book.

lately, I have seen "anchoring" all over the place. It's like people just don't know what to think about anything unless there is a reference point! I know they are everywhere, and I know they are being used on me through commercials and other marketing strategies.. but even though I know exactly what they are doing, I still get caught up in it. I don't think that I will be able to change my ways in regards to anchoring.. it is just too ingrained in me.

Thinking about predictably irrational...

I think the concept of predictably irrational is a really difficult one and poses some serious challenges for leaders. It is challenging to work with people and influence them to see things your way when irrationality comes into play.

I suppose the best way to explain your decision process is to explain in detail but also acknowledge that it may come off as irrational: “I know this doesn’t make sense but…” or “I know we are inclined to do this one way but let me explain why it should be done another way”. The concept of predictably irrational decision making can be pretty uncomfortable for people in regards to decision making because you are dealing with rationality vs instincts.

The best example I can think of that has happened to me, when I have been influenced by a decision based on the way the information was presented, is probably working Saturdays. My company is very big on working weekends and overtime. I never thought that I would be a person to work weekends. I always thought the weekend is for me, and nothing is more important than having that time to myself. I always thought if I had a job that required weekends I would refuse. But somehow I don’t see it as being that bad anymore, and I know it goes against my better judgment but I suppose my “decision” to work weekends has to do with how the information is presented. Having deadlines, having other co-workers also work weekends, meetings where bosses are always saying that working weekends are “encouraged”. It is totally wrong in my belief and yet somehow I am ok with it and find myself being the weekend-cheerleader and trying to tell my co-workers all the reasons why it’s a good idea. I suppose though in this case working weekends may be rational to some and irrational to others.

Blog Topic: Predictably Irrational

We are continuing our discussion of the human brain with last week's topic of irrationality. These findings suggest that humans are not rational, but are still predictable. This idea has two implications for you as a leader. First, people tend to expect leaders to be rational, to obey certain laws of physics, so to speak, yet, they themselves may act in ways that are not rational. This presents leaders with a conundrum: when you know your actions and decisions make sense, in the predictably irrational sense, but that they do not make sense in the traditionally rational sense, what do you do? How do you explain your decisions? How to defend them?

The second implication has to do with followers and their decision-making strategies. Following on the heels of our discussion of social influence, it seems that you could present information in ways to influence decision-making. Can you think of specific times that this has been done to you, or that, if you had known about it, you'd have changed how you presented information prior to a decision-making situation?

Mind Bugs

I found an interesting video clip similar to what we had in class, showing the set of a scene completely changed, without the viewer noticing anything! Here’s the link to the clip: http://www.dothetest.co.uk/whodunnit.html

In respect to the concept of mind bugs, I’m really interested to know how our minds work. As I was looking for some examples of popular misconceptions, I came across an interesting book by the same title, “Mind Bugs”, by Kurt Vanlehn. It says when children acquire arithmetic skills, they often develop "bugs" - small, local misconceptions that cause systematic errors. The book explores how mathematics students acquire procedural skills in instructional settings, focusing in particular on procedural misconceptions and what they reveal about the learning process. I wonder if it’s the same about other forms of misconceptions. For example in the video clip I mentioned above, how many people would actually notice the changes? How is it that their mind works differently than others? Did they have a different learning process as the book explains about mathematical misconception?

I certainly don’t like people to have misconceptions about me, but for some who are more important to me, I actively try to show them my true self. For others I do not pay much attention, and let time resolve any misconceptions

I remember when I started my first banking job as a teller, I was so nervous about doing everything correctly, I wouldn’t talk to my co-workers about non-job related subjects. My co-workers had the false impression that this is because of my arrogance and not caring about their social lives. Every move and every word from me was conceived in a completely different manner than what I meant. I didn’t think I could ever benefit from their friendship, but time rectified their misconceptions, and we have become close friends to this day.

Perception and Mind Bugs

I really liked class on Wednesday. I would probably say that the one thing I say to everyone is "perception is everything." When I was growing up my mom hammered it into our heads that perception is more real than reality, and the mind bugs we learned about in class go along with this. I have always known that if someone perceives something to be real, then it will be real regardless of how crazy it is. I would say that my own perceptions lead me astray all the time. The picture of the tables is the simplest example of this. Even though he went up and measured both sides of the table, I still thought that they were different. If I have strong perceptions on anything, it would have to be on people. No one wants to believe everything they hear, but the perceptions I develop on people based on gossip always make me paint them a certain way.

Perceptions have definitely affected me in a negative way as well. I have met people who, after talking to me for a few minutes, admitted to thinking I had a different kind of personality based on what they heard. Kind of makes you wonder just how important first impressions are. It's weird to me how these perceptions can be very hard to change. I know that those two tables are the same, but I still can't help but to think that they are different in some way. This is disheartening because if someone perceives me to be a certain way, no matter what I do they could still have that opinion of me even after getting to know me.

Mind Bugs

The activities, pictures and examples provides for the last class was amazingly surprising to me. I did not realize the problem of mind bugs is everywhere in our daily lives. People often believe what they see and this behavior sometimes gets us trapped by our mind bugs. From the book, irrational predictability, I notice that our mind bugs are often come from our past experiences. As a matter of fact, our past experiences send signal to our minds, and our mind convert the signal and store permanently somewhere in our brain. So, next time, when we encounter the same or similar experience, our brain will automatically command us to do the same thing over and over again in our future. The perceptions from past experiences are deeply ingrained in our minds once we make the first decision, behavior, or action. These mind bugs are really powerful and hard to get rid off unless we take a serious internal reflection and some analytical experiments to clarify and restart our believe system.

There is an example I like to mention regarding to my erroneous misconceptions. During my college life, I always drink my roommates’ milk without asking because in my mind I was thinking every thing in the refrigerator should be shared among roommates. This misconception was developed since my childhood when I was living at home. So, one day my roommate came to me and told me stop taking advantages from him. I was shocked and did not realize how bad things became. Then, I tried to examine all the details and did internal self reflection about my past experiences. I realized that I have to stop doing this misbehaviors and start respecting other people’s properties. We have to view things from other angles to solve this puzzle.

Perceptions and Misperceptions

In class we talked about how mind bugs can alter our focus and lead us down the wrong path. We also realized that sometimes we use these mind bugs to our own advantage (such as when crafting our 2 truths and a lie) and sometimes these mind bugs led to errors. Did anything covered in class surprise you?

I found the mind bugs very interesting especially the picture of the two tables that were the same size. A lot of people still didn’t believe it even after someone measured the tables, and to be honest they still did not look the same size to me even though they were measured equally. I also though the card trick video was pretty crazy how all those things changed in the background while the trick was going on and I didn’t even notice one bit. After witnessing these mind bugs my perceptions have changed in that I have increased my doubts about my senses. I think it is human nature to see something a certain way and believe it is true. Even when someone tells you things are different, it is very hard to change your perceptions.

I definitely think my perceptions have led me astray in my life from time to time. I think sometimes I see people as certain way, and even over time if their behaviors demonstrate otherwise, it is still hard to change those initial perceptions and keep ignoring the signs. This is important I think as I go through life and meet new and more people. When you meet someone new, you really do not know who they are. They may say things about themselves, but how do you know any of it is actually true? I suppose I have become more wary and cynical of people after being led astray by my perceptions of them.

An example of when my perceptions have been harmful is when I had a co-worker who I thought was my friend, and I had told her about some personal strife I had been going through. During this period I had made some mistakes at work and she basically went to my boss and pointed out the mistakes I was making. I would not have done this to a friend, I would have backed her up and supported her and tried to help correct the mistakes without going and telling our boss. This was a hard but I guess important lesson to learn.

When people have misperceptions of me, I deal with it by ignoring it as much as possible. I hate feeling like I have to defend and explain myself to people who have misjudged me. It’s annoying and makes a person feel frustrated. You cannot control how people perceive you, so I think it is best to be aware that what you say and do will be judged by others, but then try to ignore it and move on.

I am still thinking about the tables and I still don’t believe they are the same size!

Perceptions... quiet troublemakers

Unfortunately, I missed class last Wednesday due to illness (no one eat the Chinese chicken salad from the SJSU student center..) however I did find the reading "Framing and Negotiation" very interesting. Many of the ideas presented in the article reminded me of a chapter in our book about the idea of "anchoring".

At work, I like to be knowledgeable and take charge of situations where I am comfortable. Though I work with mostly women, the members of our board are mostly older men. Often I find that when I present a progress report or idea to this group of older gentlemen, I am asked many, often redundant questions. When my older male supervisor presents his reports and ideas, he is met more receptively and with approval. What I believe is happening here is because I am younger (not going to go into male vs. female..), then the board members believe that I lack experience, and are more likely to scrutinize my ideas and reports. I do not believe they are being malicious in this scrutiny, however I do believe that they perceive me as a less experienced person who needs more guidance than my boss.

Dealing with this (perceived) perception of my, I find myself trying harder and re analyzing my reports, trying to prepare myself for anything they might throw at me. I try to prove that even though I am "young", that I still have expertise in the area I am assigned and try to gain their trust and support.

I really don't like for people to have misconceptions of me.. it's a little neurotic, but I am not happy if someone does not like me. Once I find out what the misconceptions are, I make a conscious effort to change their mind. I adapt the way I act around the person until I either am satisfied that their mind is changed, or I decide that it is useless. I know this attitude is not the healthiest, why should I care if someone has a misconception about me or does not like me? I don't know why I care, but I really do...

Blog Topic 7: Perceptions

In class we talked about how mind bugs can alter our focus and lead us down the wrong path. We also realized that sometimes we use these mind bugs to our own advantage (such as when crafting our 2 truths and a lie) and sometimes these mind bugs led to errors. Did anything covered in class surprise you? How does these insights into human perceptual processes change your views of your own behavior, past and present? Have there been times in your life when your perceptions have led you astray? Or times when others perceptions of you have been erroneous and perhaps harmful to you? How do you deal with other's misperceptions of you? Do you still think those two tables did not have the same surface area?

Pa pa pa pa pa pa power (Old Spice Anyone?)

I suppose that in certain situations, I do view myself as a powerful person. In the classroom, I am more focused on learning and less likely to step into a leadership role but in other aspects of my life I have a lot of influence on people. I am in the Greek system at San Jose State, and I feel like I have a lot of influence and power among the members of my fraternity and others. I have held many leadership positions in my fraternity, and my "brothers" respect my abilities to create a plan and execute it.

Motivation is a big part of any of the jobs I have done. One that stands out in my mind is our annual philanthropy called "Derby Days" that I was in charge of for 2 years. Motivating a fraternity and 7 sororities to fundraise money to donate to Huntsman Cancer Institute is something that can only be done by someone who can empower others to feel the need to participate. I realized that I had the power to get people to do what I want by using the friendships I had cultivated to my advantage. Selecting captains was important, so I chose my friends who were motivated to help me because I had helped them in the past.

I think that in a business setting I could so a similar job with any task I am given. Personal relationships and first impressions are crucial to gaining power for me. If a coworker feels obligated to help me because they like me, I've helped them out in the past, or I have laid out the reasons why it needs to be done in a way that they understand then I will have the upper hand. I do believe that I have a lot of room for improvement however. I feel that in situations where I do not know anyone, it is hard for me to get someone to do something for me. This situation will definitely present itself over and over again so I need to figure out a way to handle it.

Power

There is a great phrase from the movie Spider Man, “Great Power Comes from Great Responsibility.” Great leaders have potentials and skills to influence and empower others by properly showing them the vision of the future, taking actions to challenge current process, walking the talk...etc because they think they have responsibility to improve the world. Great leaders care a lot about other people’s feelings and thoughts and that is what makes them so powerful and attractive. However, I am still at the immature stage of developing leadership and I certainly have a lot to learn towards my leadership career. By taking this leadership class, I get a better sense of my internal power and the confidence to challenge current process to become a great leader. I would like to keep exploring my heart and find out more of myself by practicing, reading, and taking drills. I would like to know and learn the secrets to motivate peopel's energy level with my influence of power.

Power Pusher

I sometimes think of myself as a powerful person, it does depend a lot on the situation. Jacqueline mentioned the notion of more experience makes her feel more powerful, and I feel the same way. If I have experience, then I feel more powerful. Even if I am working with people with twice as much experience as I, as long as I can refer back to a relate able experience that I have had, I feel confident and therefore powerful. I like to think that I empower others when I talk to them... I have always been kind of a "mom" figure to my friends, making sure everyone knows where to go, what to bring, has a ride, has a ride home, has a good time, etc etc. and I am always there to talk about problems. Now those things may not make everyone feel powerful or empowering, but taking control of a situation and making sure things go well does make me feel powerful.

I really liked the discussion about power poses that we had in class last week. The day after, I had a job interview with a Director, and he took one of the power positions ( leaning back in his chair, etc). I immediately took note of how I was sitting and though I did not try and "out do" his power position, I made sure that I did not take on a "weak" position. As I come closer to graduation, I would like to develop my ability to lead people by my personality and also by my experience. To develop these goals, I believe that I will have to become more attune to how people I am managing/leading respond to different personalities, and perhaps adjust accordingly. Also, I think that if I learn from every experience I have: what went right, what went wrong, what could I have done better, then I will be able to lead with my experience as well as by example.

Cultivating Power

I think that the older I get and the more established I become with my career and goals I think I see myself as more powerful. For me, power comes from confidence and confidence has come from completing certain goals I had set out for myself. I definitely can be someone who empowers others. I try to be enthusiastic and encouraging when I see people feeling down and discouraged. One thing that I have learned in this program that has helped me to feel empowered and is to think very carefully about what I am trying to say, and to speak more slowly and confidently. This is something I have tried to work on and I think doing so I have become more confident which is a foundation for power. I haven’t really thought much about what kind of power I would like to cultivate. I guess my goal is to be taken more seriously especially at work. I am the youngest person at my office location which has its benefits for certain skills but I also have the least amount of experience. Someday I would like to be a manager so I definitely need to increase my feelings and thoughts about power. One thing I thought was interesting that was discussed during lecture was how thinking about a time in your life when you were powerful before being faced with a situation makes you feel more powerful. I think this is a helpful exercise to keep in mind and I am going to use this as one of my tools for cultivating my own power.

Blogging Topic 6: Power

Do you think about yourself as a powerful person? Do you think of yourself as someone who empowers others? We talked about how to be powerful, how to look powerful, and how to exercise power over the past few weeks...and many of you will be graduating in a couple of months...what kind of power do you feel ready to exert and what kinds of power would you like to cultivate? How are going you to meet these power goals?

Negotiation

In the negotiation exercise, I feel that I did exceptionally well. I scored in the top 5 of those who had the same role as me. I was actually pretty surprised, Karen is an excellent negotiator and even though I didn't show it, it felt uneasy not knowing what she had on her paper. I know that I had to judge the importance of each area by how hard she pushed, her body language, and her tone. I made it a point to be more lenient on things that were not important to me, but make it seem like I was giving up a lot. This made it much easier to be more pushy when it came to what I wanted. When she made up some story about where she lived, and how it would affect her in the moving expense area, I countered with an equally elaborate made up response.

I didn't know Karen at all, so I can't say that I had any preconceived notions about how she would attempt to influence the negotiation. I had very little time to decide what she was like and how she was going to act. I must say that even on the walk out of the classroom, I began talking to her to see what I could do to exploit her weaknesses (not in a mean way). I feel like this is my general approach to many things in my life. I definitely understand the importance of knowing your opponent, because if you know everything about them while maintaining some sort of mystery about yourself, you will always have the upper hand. I was definitely satisfied with my performance. When we were done negotiating I let her in on some of the tactics that I had used. I think she was a bit surprised on how deceptive I was. I carefully chose the areas I would emphasize and the ones I would make to seem as unimportant in order to gain an advantage.

The main thing that I learned from this is no matter what tactic I used, I was most happy that in the end we were both pleased with the negotiation. Although it may seem like I was being deceptive to get my own way, I definitely made her feel like she was a winner as well. In a business setting it should always be both parties that walk away feeling good. If one leaves with a bitter taste in their mouth, it surely is the start to a shaky relationship.

Get Ready to Rumble

Negotiation involves three simple but achievable basic elements: process, behavior and substance. (Lewicki, Barry, and Saunders) The process refers to how the parties negotiate: the background of the negotiations, the parties to the negotiations, the strategies used by the parties, and the arrangement and stages in which all of these acts play out. Behavior refers to the unique relationships among these parties, the communication between them and the styles they adopt or do not adopt. The substance refers to what the parties negotiate over: the agenda, the issues, the interests. Our instructor skillful provided the agenda or interest and matched us in a unique situation with a partner we may not otherwise have chosen.
From the inception my partner acted as a skilled negotiator who tried a tactic of hypnosis and leaped into a presentation of “beating around the bush.” I recognized her approach because typically it is used on males coined the “cherry pick.” When the instructor handed my partner a private note I realized that the negotiations would slide into a disingenuous salami tactic and it did exactly that. I knew (by way of the note) that my partner did not have a better offer (by no means) and possibly the note poisoned and infected my ability to be fair and rational. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard that “cooperation” is the best policy but it is hard to change pre-wired conditioning that sets up a scenario that it is about win or lose.
Emotionally I have been conditioned to believe that I am always on the losing end of a relationship so I must take before I am taken from. I am driven by paranoia and not science. Typically I feel that most negotiations are neither “clean” nor transparent. It is my gut feeling that something is always left under the table.
The exercise was a fruitful one in that I was able to get a sense of some of my most primal touch points that trigger unpleasant feelings. Routinely I glaze over those sensitive issues that touch off emotional underpinnings but this exercise was eye opening. I was forced to stop and evaluate and possibly diffuse some of those challenges that I have with negotiati

Not tough enough

I knew that I was not being tough enough in the negotiation, and I think it came from who I was partnered with. Usually I have no problem acting and role playing, but for some reason, when I was partnered with this guy, I couldn't do it. I think I let his attitude towards the game effect me to the point where my own performance suffered. I didn't weave any interesting stories.. it was simply an exchange of :"If I give you this, I want this". I feel that I really missed out on the benefits of the game because of this.

I think I scored reasonably compared to the rest of the class, perhaps on the lower side, but still respectable. I had met my partner once before on the first day of class, and knew that his attitude towards these kind of exercises was less than enthusiastic.. therefore my preconceived notions about him did effect my performance in that I felt that if I tried to role play and use tactics such as persuasion by personal stories, etc, that the actions would not be reciprocated and I would feel foolish for trying to engage.

My performance, or lack thereof, does reflect in to my regular life. I am easily influenced by other people's lack of enthusiasm, and it can lead me to be less enthusiastic about tasks. I also have a fear of looking foolish or acting the fool in front of people. This is more of a self confidence issue, one that I am taking steps to improve. My lack of performance disappointed me. I would think that at a graduate level, I would stop being influenced by my classmates' attitudes. However, I was, and as a result, I believe that I missed out on a valuable exercise.

Finding The Balance

Generally speaking, I scored the average compared to the rest of class. I strongly believe that there is still room for me to improve my negotiation skill. During the negotiation, my strategy to approach the task was simply to find a balance between both of us so that we can achieve the goal without hurting each other. However, I found out, sometimes, when I try to make neutral deals with people, things usually get worse and they try to take advantages from me and even push me to my boiling point. I think people usually take serious concerns about their benefits over the others. They tried to make points that make us seemed miserable and nonetheless if we don’t accept their deals. When they use this kind of traps and influences on me, I like to approach the matter with different angles. In other words, I have to solve the puzzle by putting myself in their shoes and try to find their misconceptions, try to correct them and put them back in my situation. I certainly learned a lot of lessons from the negotiation and certainly have many things need to improve. For example, I need to develop a strategy which can quickly identify their moods, tones, and situations by putting my self into their situation to solve the problem.

Did I play tough enough?

In last week’s negotiation process, I used different influence tactics, without being aware of it. In the beginning, I was aiming to find a mutually acceptable deal, but when we started the process, I started playing tough. We started our negotiation with salary and we were both determined to get the highest points. After we reached a stalemate and my applicant stated that she has a better offer from another job, I decided to re-frame to break the deadlock. I gave her what she asked for salary, and due to “law of reciprocity”, she was less tough on other options.
As a recruiter, I was dealing with a qualified candidate whom I was determined to hire without losing many points. So when I lost the battle in salary, I implemented bargaining strategy. I used my recruiter position as an advantage and offered the rest of the benefits in a package format. This method worked satisfactorily to my advantage. Although I was surprised that so many other recruiters had more points that I had as they weren’t as lenient as I was about salary.
When I realized my applicant and I are both aiming for the same location, I tried not to let her know that it is also my optimal choice, so I used the location option as my winning card to get points on other benefits. I learned from this exercise that I should have asked more questions from the applicant, before making an offer. If I had let the applicant talk first, I would have obtained more information about her motives and could have adjusted the benefit packages more wisely.
The key to success in every negotiation is prior research of the subject matter, but the challenging part of this exercise was that neither of the parties was prepared. We had to think about alternatives instantaneously.
I believe I use bargaining along with friendliness strategy often in my everyday life to influence people. During conflicts, if possible, I try to offer something valuable in exchange for another worthy favor. Meanwhile, I try to keep a positive impression on the other party.

Blog 5 Response

I think I did pretty well in the negotiation, I was the employee. I scored higher than my partner and was in the mid to high range compared with others in the class which did surprise me. In order to influence my partner I basically gave a lot of support for each argument that made negotiation difficult. I made myself sound like there was no way out except to get the highest amount of money. I tried to provide as much information about my personal situation to provide reasons why I needed everything to be top dollar. I didn’t have any preconceived notions about my partner so that didn’t have an affect on my approach. I’m not sure that my performance in the negotiation reflects how I approach conflicts, for one I usually try to leave personal information out of conflicts but it was appropriate for this situation. I can be an argumentative person, and sometimes I do catch myself trying to convince people of my opinion and trying to get them to see things my way or do something that I want to do. I think it comes from being a middle child. Growing up there was constant arguments, conflicts, and compromises and my siblings and I still all argue and negotiate about everything all the time even if it’s just going to a restaurant or what time we should meet. It’s a constant exhausting battle but I suppose it prepared me for life and conflict at work for example. I definitely learned a lot from this role play. I always was worried that I may have to negotiate a salary package one day and after going through this I feel like it prepared me. I was overall satisfied with my performance although I’m still disappointed that my bonus wasn’t higher. As far as interactions with people around me, I think I learned that it is important to listen to others and there are two sides to every story. Had I been the recruiter in this case, my approach may have been different.