The Feedback Says:

The feedback left me feeling cold, numb, anesthetized, drained and deadened because I recognized that I had “not” been authentically Asher all along. I had been wearing a disguise pretending to be someone I wanted people to believe I was. I traveled the path of least resistance simply because. I displayed a less complex Asher that was easier to palate.


The feedback made me feel as if I were flagged for having “shallow emotions,” meaning my show of warmth, joy, compassion may not have been authentic but aseptically feigned.
My display of emotions served as a cover for my ulterior motives or objectives. How could I feel so outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Truly I was not acting genuine, neither were my promises.
“Was anything surprising to you?” Nothing was really surprising for me because I interpret all feedback as useful. I may certainly digest things differently but none the less, I digest.


The primary framework I will garner from the feedback is its ability to support my learning, my change and my improvement. Darn Skippy, I know I need to learn from this experience and learning will take place by knowledge of how to manage my weaknesses.


It's not having been in the dark house, but having left it, that counts.
-- Theodore Roosevelt
Yes, what about my weakness? No matter my strengths I have to manage my weakness that are lurking around in the unfriendly darkness ready to strike at a moment’s notice when I least expect it. The contradiction in feedback scores exposes that deep seated rage, I experience often which is split off and repressed, at its core. I am concerned that I see others around me not as people but as targets and opportunities.
How can the information you received move you towards your leadership goals?
The first game rule is to identify my weaknesses which were pointed out in the feedback.

I identify a weakness as anything that complicates or gets in the way of excellent performance. Taken into totality my largest weakness appears to be transparency. Of the thousand roles that I play much like an actor reading for a movie, I have never found the role of playing Asher interesting enough to stay with it. So the pretender in me is on trial for lacking an authentic persona that is consistent with her values, beliefs and aspirations.


Without the skill of transparency I cannot articulate carefully and clearly my vision; my vision of creativity, resourcefulness and imagination.
Taken literally I need to: Stop faking it and live the life I was born to fulfill. I need to rediscover my core values and return to my authentic self. I need to lock down and regain the passion, excitement, and confidence locked inside of me. I shall get real and leave the old phony behind. I am not auditioning for a new role and that is the life of Asher.